| The 'Nam |
[Jul. 2nd, 2006|09:43 pm] |
Full Metal Jacket: Grim, amusing, R. Lee Ermey apparently has a brilliant website, and apparently he has a TV show narrating war documentaries, which sounds like a fantastic idea.
Jarhead: Depressing, entertaining, Donnie Gay Cowboy Darko quickly becoming a pretty decent actor.
American Dreamz: Tosh, lazy, not much bite, Willem Dafoe makes a good Dick Cheney, just not particularly funny, satire extremely obvious and not particularly satirical.
Platoon: Grim, quite worthy, good soundtrack although they do tend to repeat the same one-minute segment over and over any time something grim happens. Kevin Dillon extremely good, subtle "war is hell" message sometimes a bit unsubtle.
Agenda:
1. Achieve enlightenment
2. Become famous rock star
3. Become soldier, go to war |
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| Hot/War |
[Jul. 2nd, 2006|08:07 pm] |
Fuck! This! Heat!
I've been watching war films to put my torment in perspective. I've decided that war... is... hell. In fact I've spent so many hours watching scenes from The 'Nam that I might start having flashbacks during the week. "Look out, Matt! There's a charlie under your desk!" Especially as my boss is secretly R. Lee Ermey. |
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| DRM |
[May. 24th, 2006|01:54 pm] |
I read Boing Boing, it has a pretty high hit-rate of interesting vs. non-interesting. I find the attitude towards DRM on there pretty interesting, though. Seemingly, any attempt to protect copyright in any way whatsoever is sneerworthy and represents The Man, and is essentially tantamount to the image of a boot stamping on a human face forever, but on the other hand any method of distributing music or other media in an ostensibly ethical way has been programmed by God, debugged by Jesus and had its user interface reviewed and revised by all the beautiful angels of the heavenly choir.
Even with that though, I find this a bit much:
http://defectivebydesign.org/
Notable quote: "There is no more important cause for freedom than the call for action to stop DRM from crippling our digital future. The time is now. Join us."
No more important cause for freedom? Man, that's news to me. I was under the impression that creeping religious extremism was destroying the world, and the corruption of world superpowers combined with the complacency of the media was doing irreparable damage to society, but apparently not being able to watch your Sex And The City DVDs on the iPod in your frigging shoes is more important.
Although I download literally every piece of copyrighted material I watch/read/listen to, I take an interest in copyright. Although it seems self-serving, I have this hippy idealistic belief that all copyrighted material should just be, you know, like, free, man, and little kids with no arms and legs in Nigeria should be able to watch The Simpsons despite not being able to afford any more than two grains of rice for dinner, one of which may or may not be a rat turd with flour on it. I don't know how this relates to artists' need to get paid, I guess they can just work that out themselves while I'm living in my hippy utopia.
While I'm not actively in favour of DRM, I think there are more important things to worry about than spending all your time organising flashmobs (tedious, pretentious wank) to protest some inconsequential violation of your holy and sacred consumers' rights. |
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| More Heartbreak |
[May. 2nd, 2006|11:39 pm] |
Ok. Batman, my greatest superhero love, you broke my fucking heart with your stupid super-villain plot-having, rubbish female lead-infested, non-brilliant movie. I don't care about all the valiant steps they made towards a decent Batman film, there were still gaping holes that any sensible nerd could have fixed for them in ten words (replace Katie Holmes with Harvey Dent/no jokes at all).
Superman will save us! Oh yes, could it be, my greatest dream, a really amazing superhero film. The Marvel ones are doing pretty well at capturing what makes Marvel superheroes what they are - Marvel superheroes tend to be everyman characters, poor schmucks who are born into their powers and regard them as a curse, or that get them by accident. Generally they fight things on the street level of muggers and so on, and frequently have problems in their simple personal life that overtake their superhero life (Spidey's lovelife/Aunt May, the X-Men's soap opera love affairs, the Avengers beating their wives and then coming to terms with their robotic clone-brothers knobbing their ex-girlfriends or whatever).
DC heroes are different - DC heroes are magnificent operatic gods on Earth, pantheons of deities whose every action changes the world. Like Superman! The first true superhero, unfairly regarded as boring by people JUST TOO DAMN LAZY to look past a never-ending sea of tired, boring stories in order to find the tiny grains of salt that represent the few decent Superman stories - anything by Grant Morrison or Alan Moore. Not a massive oeuvre, really.
http://movies.apple.com/movies/wb/superman_returns/superman_returns-tlr2_h640w.mov
Anyway, the trailer looks fantastic. Luthor is spiff, Superman looks the part, the less said about Lois "Her?" Lane and her already cringeworthy little moppet the better. But crucially, THEY PLAY THE MUSIC AND VISIT THE FORTRESS. That's the sort of thing that makes me forget the massive gaping hole in my heart that Batman Begins tore out, and open myself up for more abuse. I've already accepted that X3 may well be a huge steaming pile of poo due to the very dodgy and dubious use of a Sentinel in the leaked footage, but ONE MORE DECENT SUPERMAN FILM (Superman 2 is bollocks, Superman 1 has moments of brilliance) is too tempting not to get all het up about and start spaffing myself stupid over.
I really won't be happy until they show Superman in the year 85,352 emerging from his 10,000 year solitude in the heart of the sun made of solid gold and wearing the last Green Lantern ring. But I'll settle for a non-sucky Superfilm. |
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| For The Nerds |
[May. 2nd, 2006|11:49 am] |
I don't know how many of you nerds play City Of Heroes, but I've just started it again after a long absence. I'm playing on the UK Union server, my character's name is V-Hive, he is a level 13 Ice/Fire blaster, and is 100% not gay.
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| Hooray |
[Apr. 28th, 2006|02:00 pm] |
Ah, the Friday demotivational pub lunch.
Must! Remember! How! To! Be! A! Programmer! |
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| The Sentinelese |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|10:32 pm] |
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentinelese
The Sentinelese, a 250-strong tribe of Stone Age tribespeople, completely untouched by modern civilisation because they fucking KILL ANYONE WHO COMES NEAR THEM WITH ARROWS AND POINTY STICKS. They drove off a helicopter with bows and arrows! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 15th, 2006|05:53 pm] |
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The new tool single is deep. So deep that i have written a similar ode , in an attempt to gain mega-stardom. It's about the love of a large headed man for his collection of robots. Can't fail. |
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| Me! |
[Apr. 14th, 2006|10:01 pm] |
I've decided to write my own vital statistics so I always have somewhere to refer back to in case I forget.
Name: Nicholas Paraquat Locking.
Age: 26.
Nationality: British with Australian citizenship and New Zealand citizenship.
Place of birth: Doncaster Royal Infirmary, South Yorkshire.
Parent's names: Melvin and Janet.
Favourite film: Robocop.
Favourite superhero: Batman.
Favourite band: Tool (new album please be good, please).
Favourite robot: Galvatron.
Favourite television programme: Oz/The Shield.
Currently I'm listening to: early 90s thrash metal/alternative like Pantera, Sepultura, Rollins Band, also lots of Neil Young and the new Ghostface Killah.
Currently I'm watching: Lost (loving it), 24 (spaffing over it), The Shield (when it comes back from the break so Chiklis can make the next abomination of a Fantastic Four film, wanking myself stupid over it), Arrested Development (merely extremely funny).
Currently I'm playing: The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion (PC), Black (PS2), Shadow Hearts 2: Covenant (PS2), and trying to hold on until the Revolution arrives.
Currently I'm reading: Ridiculously self-important Marvel Graphic Novels, Death Note (manga about a serial killing genius who finds a demonic notebook that lets him kill whoever he wants, and so he decides to reshape the world as he sees fit).
At work I'm: finishing off development on a technician auditing application in ASP.Net, restarting development work on my CMS (that I've been neglecting) so it has a sexy new design, and rejigging the code so it fits the Model/View/Controller design pattern, and deciding with Matt and Marcus on whether or not to adopt a framework for development.
I note LJ are using FCKEditor for their WYSIWYG stuff. They'll regret that when they have to destroy and recreate editable regions on the fly! Then they'll switch to TinyMCE, like I did. |
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| The Passion Of The Manc |
[Apr. 14th, 2006|09:31 pm] |
I'm watching it. It's absolutely hilarious. Judas is a sketchy AIDS victim looking guy. Jesus divided and distributed The Holy Bap which he procured from the Holy Kebab Van.
It's absolutely typical stupid post-1990 British television. What happened to quiet dignity, and budgetless productions of exciting cerebral period dramas? There's even a cheesy z-list celeb commentator to explain to the thickies what's going on. It's the frigging story of Jesus! Look it up! The best moment was when some fat Manc twat jumped out in front of the camera and did a little gurn-faced dance before he was shooed away by someone.
To an agnostic/atheist like myself (I don't completely discount some sort of supernatural force, but I certainly discount any religion people have come up with because they're so transparently concocted a child could see through them) it's mind-bogglingly stupid. As far as I'm concerned a few hundred thousand people have decided there's a magical beardy man in the sky and participating in a tasteless reinvisioning of a two-thousand-year-old story is the best way to indicate their dedication for the completely fictitious great being with his infinite love, such that he does not condemn them to everlasting torment.
Brilliant: "You're a punk. But you're a Christian too - how does that work?"
You collection of fucking peasants! I redub the whole thing Chavianity. |
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| Interview |
[Apr. 12th, 2006|11:47 pm] |
I'm allowed a meme a month! And this one is about me so it's ok. Give more questions if you feel like it.
Mandy:
1 - What are the top three things about other people that annoy you the most?
Pretention. I cannot fucking stand people who affect faux-intellectual ways of speaking or think they're really brainy and interesting when in fact they are not.
Just... what bothers me a lot lately is that Bush has what, a 35% approval rating? That means ONE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE think he is doing a bang-up job. That means, to me, that thirty percent of the human race is just surplus to requirements and can be shown the door. And that is a VERY conservative estimate. Frankly, I think the number of people we can just do without is far greater.
People who just don't agree with me. Just... shut up! You're wrong! About everything!
2 - What is the one thing in your life you absolutely couldn't live without?
So many. Internet? Nerdery?
3 - Do you still think of me as awesome?
COMPLETELY! I truly believe that one day we will form a crime-fighting duo, and promptly pack it in and form a crime-causing duo.
4 - Who is the funniest person you know?
Nic, I think. He veers from hilarious to annoyingly obnoxious depending on how much alcohol is inside him, but when he's on, he's on. I can't really keep up in an off-the-cuff quickfire round of gags, mainly because he shouts louder, but when I have time to think about my gags I thrash.
5 - What is the secret of great comedy?
Here is the secret to being funny - have two groups of friends. One group is people you met while goth clubbing. The other is nerds you know from the internet. You steal the jokes from one group and tell them to the other and pretend you thought of them. Job done.
Tom:
# what part of you do you think i know least about (and why)?
Tough question. I am very open to a large degree but I think a lot to myself about all kinds of stuff. My personal philosophies on everything usually occupy my thoughts - I like to mull over the big questions quite a lot... not out of any sort of mistaken belief that I have the answers, but because I find myself increasingly doubtful of every opinion I profess. I occasionally lie awake at night and completely perfect my position on some issue or other and then forget it all by morning. I have this dubious belief that it's pretentious to even consider the Big Issues out loud because everything that needs to have been said will have been said and published in some trendy book a few months previously.
# in what ways have you changed since you started your relationship with [info]plug_in_babe?
I became more content. Previously I had to have as much fun as possible in a mad partying fashion just to prove I still could after a long period of not really doing much but now I am more relaxed about it. Possibly I go through phases of energy and partying and quite introspective relaxation. I have become more like my father. I have become more motivated, although not recently. My diet has improved. I miss tinned spaghetti and cheese on toast for dinner sometimes though.
# how deep can the robot fantasy go in your life as an adult? (remember, i only know about what's on the surface, i rely on your honesty)
Not very deep - it's as shallow as interests go, really. I don't really know why I have such mad love for robots. The designs fascinate me, the sheer joyous stupid madness of massive mechanical superheroes, and the skill in the engineering and creation of the toys. I think they fulfil the same desire for stories of simple black and white heroism that ancient myths did, although I think superhero stories are a far better example of that. I collect (although 'collect' is a dubious use of the term since I don't really do the things most collectors do like obsess about pristine condition and keep boxes and such) quite a few robots, but I rationalise it away by reasoning that I only spend as much or less time and money on robots than other people spend on their home cinema equipment, their curtains, their tattoos, etc.
# what random coincidence had the most surprising impact on your life?
Alex offering me a job at Tui in the toilets at Slimelight, perhaps? I was drifting aimlessly around before that, having a great time socially and subsisting on a small amount of freelance work supplied by a company my friend Ciaran worked at. I had enough money to get on with due to a financial plan generally referred to in legal terms as 'tax evasion' but it wasn't particularly rewarding work. The job at Tui is the best I've ever had.
# emacs or vi?
Neither. I am so rubbish at *nix it's embarassing. I have to ask the other guys in the office every time I have file-locking issues. I use Zend Studio (or Visual Studio 2005) to develop in, which I find agreeable.
Nic:
1 What was your first nerd experience?
Transformers UK #29, 1985. My father bought it for me because I liked Transformers cartoons and I loved it. I still have the issue not two feet away from me. I collected TFUK until it ended at #332. I was mortified when they canned it. None of the new series and continuations of recent times have really compared to the old stuff, which was far better than it had any right to be.
2 When are you going to come out again with me and lyndz and relive days of yore?
When the stars are in alignment. I keep finding I go out intending to get drunk and go to Slimes and then I just get drunk and want to go home and sleep.
3 How long would you survive without Fran? I reckon a week, after which you eat your own hands.
I would survive for a long time, but I would eat lots of fat food and you would have to come and serve me like Salacious Crumb while I played PS2 games, until a wandering Jedi's metal bikini'd sister choked me with a chain.
4 Who was your worst lay ever?
Not your mum. Your mum's mum.
5 Do you like Millenium?
I honestly have no idea what it's even about. |
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| Conspiracy, Etc. |
[Apr. 11th, 2006|10:30 pm] |
I never get tired of this one.
Art Bell is a guy who hosts a paranormal-themed radio show in the states. He takes calls, discusses UFOs, stuff like that. On September 11th, 1997, he recieved a call from a terrified-sounding guy. Here's the transcript:
Art: On my Area 51 line, you're on the air, hello.
Male caller: Hello, Art?
Art: Yes
Caller [sounds frightened]: I don't have a whole lot of time.
Art: Well, look, let's begin by finding out if you're using this line
properly or not.
Caller: OK, in Area 51?
Art: Yes. Are you an employee or are you now?
Caller: I'm a former employee. I, I was let go on a medical discharge
about a week ago and, and... [chokes] I kind of been running across the
country. Damn, I don't know where to start, they're, they're gonna,
they'll triangulate on this position really soon.
Art: So you can't spend a lot of time on the phone, so give us something
quick.
Caller [voice breaking up with apparent suppressed crying]: OK, um, um,
OK, what we're thinking of as aliens, Art, they're extradimensional
beings, that, an earlier precursor of the space program they made
contact with. They are not what they claim to be. They've infiltrated a
lot of aspects of, of, of the military establishment, particularly the
Area 51.
The disasters that are coming, they, the military, I'm sorry, the
government knows about them. And there's a lot of safe areas in this
world that they could begin moving the population to now, Art.
Art: So they're not doing, not doing anything.
Caller: They are not. They want those major population centers wiped out
so that the few that are left will be more easily controllable...."
Art [fragment]: ...discharged...
Caller [sobbing, then fragment]: I say we g ....
And at that exact second, the signal cut out. The satellite broadcasting Art Bell's show (and about 50 other stations) had its 'Earth sensor' lose its lock for about half an hour, and knocking the caller off the phone line.
Here's the recording: http://www.metatech.org/Art%20Bell%20Area%2051%20Call.mp3
Brilliant. I first heard it in 2001, on the end of Tool's album Lateralus, covered in wierd screeching and distorted vocal samples, at about 2 in the morning, in the dark, listening to the entire album on headphones extremely loud in Forest Gate, and it was slightly unnerving. |
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| Saturday |
[Mar. 29th, 2006|06:52 pm] |
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It's my birthday on Saturday, as I turn a depressingly old 26. There will be drinking in the Crouch and then a venture onto Slimelight for some hijinks, shenanigans optional, tomfoolery assured. All are welcome to join, unless of course I hate you. Gifts of money will alleviate hatred if you are unsure. |
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| Metroid |
[Mar. 24th, 2006|10:04 pm] |
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It appears I am not very good at Metroid Prime on a handheld device. However! I think it is pretty neat that using a £65 mobile gaming console, a £60 "movie player" accessory that happens to play downloaded game ROMs, a 1GB CF card, and some router firmware of dubious appropriateness from an American DSL provider, I can get on the internet and be thrashed by someone in a similar situation from the comfort of my living room. |
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| Snakes On A Plane |
[Mar. 17th, 2006|08:25 pm] |
Here's what Samuel L. Jackson had to say about the idea the producers had to change the title of the film he's starring in, Snakes On A Plane:
"They had already changed the title when I got to Canada to start shooting. I let it go for a while. Then one day all the producers were standing there, and I'm saying, "So are you seriously going to leave this name like this?" And they're going, "Yeah, we don't want to give too much away to the audience." I'm like, "Yeah you do. That's the way you get them in here. Nobody wants to see Pacific Air Flight 121. People want to see Snakes on a Plane." When I picked up the script and I saw the title, I didn't even read it and I said, "I want to do it." You know, before I opened the first page, Snakes on a Plane. If this is what I think it is, I want to be in this. I want to be on a plane full of poisonous snakes. And I want to see other people on a plane full of poisonous snakes. You say Snakes on a Plane, people who don't like snakes are intrigued. The people who don't like to fly are intrigued. The people who don't like both are totally terrified now. People who just like seeing mayhem are ready for that. They want to see, you know, people enclosed in a big tin tube getting attacked by poisonous snakes. Come on! What could be more exciting than that, you know? What do you do? What do you do until the plane lands? Come on, Snakes on a Plane, that's the title."
Here's the trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aAkHGCuQT4&search=snakes%20on%20a%20plane? |
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| Relativism |
[Mar. 14th, 2006|03:01 pm] |
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I wish people would stop telling minging goths they're attractive to make them feel better. It really devalues actual beauty. The traditional way to make minging people feel better is to give them cake, or not pushing them in ditches. |
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